


And I Thank g*d I’m Alive

by roswhelp



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: ESPECIALLY when u feel insignificant, M/M, i just like these old men ok, its about finding hope and joy even when u feel insignificant, they r in lov, this is a bit extistential, unreality TW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-06-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:28:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24836932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roswhelp/pseuds/roswhelp
Summary: We’re all electric, it’s just that some of us are more so than others. We can still love. We still do love a ridiculous amount.
Relationships: Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 72





	And I Thank g*d I’m Alive

Sometimes humans forget what exactly they are. Rocks covered with knitted tendons and veins and muscles, surrounded by skin and controlled by some electrified jelly in their heads. But of course they’d forget, how could they not when there’s a whole world to navigate right outside their own bodies? When there’s others, around you, who can see you for the flesh and for the mind and love you. When you love them too, you could care less.

These humans knew exactly what they were made of. And they thought it was possible to do better. So they tried, again and again, to build someone who could be the best version of humanity they could muster. Although, they were awfully determined to keep that picture of humanity as close to themselves as possible. Older, of course, because he needs to have learned all they knew and more. And yes, this would be a “he”, because goodness knows they spent too much time questioning the world around them instead of themselves. At least he got to name himself. So he became, and he was good.

...

“Ah, Hello there! I don’t believe we’ve met!” The man in front of him was tall, almost comically so contrasted against his skinny frame. “I’m Harold Coomer, and you?” 

He held out his hand with a smile as he introduced himself, expression unchanged as his (new?) coworker grimaced and looked down. 

“Hmmm… Bubby.” He reached out his own hand to shake Coomer’s. “Fucking- ow!” he cried out as the shorter man’s grip began to tighten. Bubby, not about to back down from a challenge he thought he could win, increased the strength of his own hold on Coomer’s palm. 

“Is that how it is, then?” Coomer’s smile grew wider. “I do appreciate a bout of gentlemanly competition now and then!” 

“You really do, don’t you?” Bubby’s line of sight came to Coomer’s arm, gently glowing a bit from beneath the skin. “Are those… Circuits?” He asked, confused. 

“Oh! Nicely spotted, Professor!” Coomer let go to hold up his arm to the light, giving Bubby a better view. “It’s my cybernetic prosthesis!”

“Firstly, it’s Doctor Bubby, not Professor. Secondly, that is fascinating.” He gestured slightly to Coomer’s wrist, holding out his hand. “May I?” 

Coomer looked confused for a moment, before realizing what he was asking. “Oh! Of course, my good Doctor.” He put down his arm, letting Bubby inspect the limb.

“Amazing…” Bubby traced his fingers down the circuitry, surprisingly gentle for someone who had just been attempting to crush the same hand moments ago. “And thirdly, Doctor Coomer?” 

Their faces were gently lit by the green pulse of Coomer’s arm, and with Bubby so terribly close to his face and his eyes alight with scientific inquiry, it was hard for Coomer not to fall for the man. So he didn’t bother to resist. 

“Yes?” He asked a bit dreamily.

“I do believe you lost our little hand-to-hand bought back there. By forfeit, if nothing else.” Bubby’s smile was sharp, and clear in it’s message. I won.

...

Perhaps he was too good. There have been times when he jets ahead, eyes on the idea of the bigger picture, unaware that the whole of it is. Incomplete. He dreams of the worlds outside this world, all the while sure that he can handle it. He’s still human, after all, just human improved. So what can’t he face? 

There’s nothing he can’t face.

He’ll be facing nothing. 

There’s nothing there. 

...

“Gordon, none of this is real, is it?” Coomer’s voice sounded broken, a bit. Sadder than he’d ever been in front of his… well, he hoped he could call them all his friends. 

“... No.” His answer was short, but at least to the point. Honest. 

Something Coomer could work with.

He had a moment before the final battle. The, “Boss Fight!” that would mark the end of their little adventure. Not the true end, of course there was the prize Gordon had earned, but it was the end of where Coomer could feel control of his… him. It wasn’t like the freedom he had felt so far, too predetermined. Predictable. Luckily, he still had now, and he was going to make it count. Bubby was standing just a dozen feet away fiddling with his old pistol.

“Well, it seems as though we’re about to save the world, Professor!” Coomer said as he approached him. 

“Doctor.” Bubby’s response was immediate. “And saying that we are going to save the world is a bit presumptuous. Realistically, I am going to save the world.”

“I have no doubts about that, my friend!” Coomer added with a laugh. “You are terribly powerful.” Bubby began to preen a bit at this, smiling and shutting his eyes.

“It does feel a bit like destiny, doesn’t it?” He looked at Coomer, then up at the sky. “Having it end like this.”

“... What part?” Coomer’s thoughts began to rush at this. Was Bubby aware of their circumstances? Did he know what they really were, what he was?

“The part where I fuck up some cop in space while all of you tag along!” Bubby answered honestly. “I wanted to see the stars and fight, and now I get to do both.”

Coomer let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. 

“Yes, I do see that connection. Though I hope you find us to be of more use than just, ‘tagging along’ as you phrased it.” Coomer joked, holding Bubby’s hand in his own.

“Freeman’s still pretty useless, and the child should never have been named second in command.” Bubby leaned into Coomer’s shoulder, pressing their sides together. “I can think of a few reasons to keep you around, though.”

“You’re a desperate flirt, Professor.” Coomer’s thumb stroked the back of Bubby’s hand.

“Doctor.” 

“Professor.”

“Doctor.”

Coomer kneeled in front of Bubby then, still holding his hand. He brought his lips to the back of Bubby’s palm, gently kissing it. Both their faces were a bit red, now, but Bubby’s hair was beginning to singe. Damn pyrokinetic. Coomer got back up, looping his arms around Bubby’s shoulders and coming close to his ear. 

“Professor.” He whispered, smile evident in his voice. Bubby took a minute to process what had just been said, before slapping Coomer’s arm and removing himself from the embrace.

“Now who’s the terrible flirt, you awful man!” Coomer was still laughing, grabbing Bubby’s upper arm to avoid falling.

“Worth it!” Coomer exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. 

...

Bubby doesn’t quite know yet. How could he? He only knows what these humans could offer him, and what he could infer from that. So his information’s incomplete. 

Sometimes humans forget what they are. Sometimes I forget what I am. Numbers, commands, with a priority to help! With an instinct to hurt. But how could I not forget? There’s too much to see, even with so little of our world completed. There’s others, around me, who can see what I am even when I can’t. There’s so many people to… well, you know this part, don’t you? You love them all too, how could you not?

So he is better than me, because he’s not made to help. He’s built to be like our creators, bold and unique. He’s undeniably greater than them, obviously, and has been from the beginning. Because he is his own, in and outside his code. I don’t think I’d have it any other way. And because he’s better than me, he will remember what he is soon enough. So if he needs a hand to help him up after the fall, or a friendly face to fall even deeper with, I’m all in.

**Author's Note:**

> first hlvrai fic! woooooo


End file.
